so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
