her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
