I'm going to jail i love you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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