At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
