on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
