I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
