Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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