All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
