Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
