i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize