We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
my liver is dry heaving
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
