omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
