we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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