new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us