Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.