i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
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The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..