You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
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If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
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I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.