in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
