That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
