Plan B is the new Plan A
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
