And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
