he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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