Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
They are going to name an STD after you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
