I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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