she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
