i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
