Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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