she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
