i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
