Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
