Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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