dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
