Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
