i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
