I think im going to throw up on grandma
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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