All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And the cops told us we were all naked.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
