All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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