before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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