If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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