well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
