I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize