don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
