Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
