i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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