All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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