Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
