YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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