he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
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My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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