oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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