i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize