we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
