So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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