She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
