woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
