I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
