i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
