real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
