I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
