I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
