So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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