I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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