But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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