He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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