What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
