my phone needs a breathalizer
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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