The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
