It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize